After how long into a relationship should the subject marriage be brought up? There are couples that date for three years or more and have yet to take the trip down the aisle. Couples move in together without having the understanding of what each one wants out of the relationship, or if it will go to the next level. Should this be okay, and for how long? Some women say men are afraid to commit, are men afraid to make a real commitment or are you the woman that he really wants to marry. This could be communication issues.
Some women are letting men off the hook and making excuses for them not being ready, or the famous line "what's the difference, it's just a piece of paper". If women want to be married but are dating a man that does not, what keeps the relationship going. Is this the man's fault if he has said he does not want to be married. Should women sacrifice complete full happiness waiting? The signs may be there in the relationship whether it will move to that next level, and if marriage is in the future. The question is how long should you willing to wait?
What are your thoughts on this subject.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
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9 comments:
If a woman and man decide to move in together they need to talk about their expectation BEFORE hand. If not then when the woman feels the relationship needs to go to the next level the man doesn't. So either the woman lets go of her dreams of being married or she moves on to the next person that is willing to marry her. Men are not entirely at fault, you have to be upfront with them so they can make the decision to follow through. Dating for a long time without talking about marriage.....many women don't do that but your man hasn't brought up the subject after 2-3 yrs....then baby I'm sorry to say that he either doesn't want to get married OR he doesn't want to marry you! Don't play house....you make the man comfortable and so that he feels like he has everything without making that final commitment. YES marriage is a piece of paper....but that is what we are put on this earth to do. LIVE...GET MARRIED AND PROCREATE! For those who don't wanna get married...fine but don't shack up. You give up everything...when you do that and sometimes you can't reverse it.
Why get married, it only makes yout tax situation worse. IT IS JUST A PIECE OF paper. LOVE is in the heart not paper. I finally got married after like 10 years being with my high school sweeheart and sometimes we wish we of just stayed that way and not get married. Like certain things when you get married ruin it, like financial things, Family think they are family know and can USE YOU. well i could go on and on. but ya get my point.
If you think marriage is only a piece of paper then why not get divorced and just date?? I think something financials should not ruin your marriage or thought of it. There is no rule to say that when you get married you HAVE to share money. You can still have your own money and accounts....marriage is about a bondage...yes you can get this without being married. I personally am not married and don't see myself being married. I made the same mistake I'm telling all women not to make.....and I have to live with that....but marriage is what you make it. It's work....in a relationship you can walk if something happens you don't like....marriage will give you that endurance you might not have in your heart....but after all that some people just married the wrong person.....simple.
Women need to wake up and get real! Most men are pretty clear on their view of marriage, its just that women don't want to listen to what they're saying. We think we can change his mind by doing some bedroom tricks or even worse getting pregnant to lock him down. We're taught as little girls that you get married and have a family and that's it. Now with women receiving degrees and having careers it isn't all up to the man anymore, we have choices. If you want to be married and he's dragging his feet, then you make the decision whether to pray for a miracle or move on to find someone who is on the same page. I personally believe you should live with the man before you get married because you get to see what he's like on a day to day basis. You see how he handles his financial responsibilities, how clean he is, and how often he gets on your nerves (because you know he will sometimes:-) Whatever your view is on marriage, communicate that to your partner. It's not fair to push your hopes and dreams on someone else as well as you shouldn't have to give them up.
I could not have said it better myself. I think you should live with the person first so you know what you getting yourself into, buut you also need to let them know what u expect from all this. Don't just go into blindly.
I would get a divorse but it is to much hassle knwo that we are married. So why bother.
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So I'm in this situation now... me and my boyfriend have lived together for a little over two years pretty much the same amount we have been together well we were supposed to get married April and we didn't cause he said he was scared and not ready to wait a month so now its Sept and we were supposed to get married sat the 4th but now he tells me he dont want to that he's being honest now...well the problem is he knew what I wanted and now he tells me he don't want to..so now the question is...What do I do do I leave him and find It somewhere else or wait since he does say he wants to spend the rest of his life with me just don't want to get married right now.
I never ws the type of girl to wanna wear big white dresses n have babies or get married. But as i gt older n fell n love the first time i thought for sure its hard but he keeps comin bk. I thought he ws the one. Then i had to realize it ws over. I fell n love later afterwards. Nt wat i was plannin at all. I ws a female gamester. But the second seemsed to b so certain the he wanted a wife n kids. So we've been datin 6yrs. He said he ws gonna marry me n 08... nothing! I stayed we had our differences we cheated n separated live together moved miles n miles away from each other had a baby been thru other relationships only to lead us bk to each other. I want a family. I told him 2yrs n if no ring im gone. That will make 8yrs of waitin. Idk wat to do cos i jus want this family to b like right now. I dated a guy in between us durin our separation that wanted to marry me (a college friend) n i told him no n left him. I dnt regret it. But i do wonder if it jus marryin my current boyfriend or jus nt date at all. I kno who i want n i jus dont want to settle. I jus hate to argue about marriage wen i wasnt even the only to bring it up n the first place. I think thats where alot of guys who u indecisive goes wrong.... Sayin to his gf yes i wud marry u or imma marry u. Smh we as women rule alot of things but makin to a point of marriage cheerfully isnt one of them. Som of us will never know the feelin of weddin day jitters. N im almost ok wit knowin that. B woman b educated b faithful n God. No husband can fulfill a life like self fulfillment (says the girl wit no ring lol)
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