The relationship is not so great, but it's not horrible either. The best thing about the relationship is the sex. We don't have any complaints in the bedroom, we do it all the time any and everywhere. And my partner does all kind of wild things that's hard to find someone else to do. We have a good time hanging out as friends we club, party and drink/smoke together; but there are no plans of marriage in the future. I just don't have those kind of feelings. Matter of fact if the sex wasn't so good I would have been left. I sometimes date other people my partner doesn't know about. Now she's pregnant! She wants to get married and have a family. Only she doesn't know how I really feel. I know this is going to hurt her, but I don't want to marry her. I'm not sure if I should tell her or when it's a good time; she is really excited about this. Mean while I wish this was a nightmare I could wake up from.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
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3 comments:
The only thing you can do right now is be honest with her. Most of the men that I know have gotten themselves into similar situations with females. Tell her that you are not feeling her in that type of way. Now since she is pregnant you have a responisibility to be a good father to your child if she decides to keep the baby. But you do not have to have an active relationship with the female in order to be a great father.
At the end of the day it is up to you to decide your happiness. Do you want to suffer in a undeveloped relationship or do you want freedom. But you have to understand that if you tell this girl the truth then you cannot have any type of romantic or sexual feelings for her.
Stay positive,
Reese
Obviously there wasn't any communication or honesty in the beginning other wise you wouldn't be in this situation now. So how about being honest now. If you don't want to get married then don't you will only cause much bigger problems going along with it. Hopefully you don't have a problem being a father so just be there for the child. Of course you are going to hurt her feelings especially if like you said she has no idea but it's better to let her be hurt and deal with it now than really be hurt later. Sad thing is people have sex (hopefully protected) with people they don't want to have kids with; when we know it's always a possiblity it will happen.
I am so sick of men not being true to themselves or to the women they are screwing. You are not alone, there are many men who are dating or have already married women they didnt truly love and are making those women as well as themselves miserable right now. I know that the world has presented itself with the problem of having more available women than available men. I know men are the weaker sex and are not totally capable of being true to women (or themselves in most cases)at this time. But it doesnt help the fact that there are too many black kids being raised without a father in the house or around. We are killing ourselves as a people and the women wont stop trying to win the man by getting pregnant and the men wont stop having unprotected sex. No one is suffering more than the young black men you are bringing into this world feeling inferior and at a disadvantage at birth. So many of our youth are going to jail because they have no strong fathers to help raise them. Im sorry if I am harsh but you are irresponsible in a way that is killing us. The only time you should be having unprotected sex is if you WANT a child. Get real, get a backbone, and stop playing the role of a man and become one. You should never have given her the power to have your child if you didnt want one with her. You can control that if you want to. But I do feel you. The damage is done and now you want to do the right thing. The right thing to do is tell her you dont love her, break things off completely with her (or she will have more children), and then make it a point to support your child financially and emotionally. BE there for him, have a say so in his life. Make sure he goes to college.
She is not going to make it easy for you. She knew you didnt really want her (because women know). She is trying to make your mind up for you by having this child. Your troubles with her are just beginning bec what she really wants is for you to be her knight in shining armor, not for you to leave her. She is going to turn into he## on wheels brother, but be strong an stand your ground. I know too many men that married after this happened and filled their lives with cheating and lying just to correct the initial mistake of being with a women they are not in love with. An just so there is no mistaking in the future, when you truly love a woman, nothing can stop you from loving her, marrying her, taking care of her, and reproducing with her. If you dont feel like that with a woman, keep the sex protected.
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